The transition from 2010 to 2011 hasn't been an easy one for me. 2010 was such a "full" year! We lived through some of the best and worst days of our lives in 2010. I like the symbolism of turning over a new leaf in the new year, but also have a hard time letting go of the full weight of 2010.
Here's a look back at 2010 for the Schneiders - the highs and lows, the big moments & some little ones. Overall, it's a pretty good overview of why 2010 was one of the most challenging years of our lives!!
JANUARY: We found out we were pregnant (after a year of trying).
FEBRUARY: We announced the pregnancy to the Austins (who were pregnant with Jack) at the Penguin breakfast at the Newport Aquarium. I turned 33. Josie was still with her nanny Carissa and Lou & I began the hunt for a Montessori pre-school for Josie to begin in the fall. I was very sick with the first trimester and developed Hyperemesis. I lost 6 pounds in one week and fainted from exhaustion. I began medication and acupuncture to stop from vomiting. It helped.At the end of the month, we found out the baby was measuring small. The doctors tried to reassure me, but I knew something wasn't right.In other news, Josie had her first real day playing in the snow and built her first snowman with Lou. Josie hit the two-and-a-half mark!
MARCH: The first week of March we heard our baby's heartbeat. A week later we returned to find that we had lost her. I had a D&C on March 9th. We said goodbye to sweet Camille and to the promise of having a second child. In happy news, we found out Josie had been accepted into Xavier Montessori and couldn't believe our good fortune!
APRIL: We finally sold our condo after well over a year of trying! We continued to grieve and to heal. The outlook was positive, with many changes in store over the next few months. We found our dream home and crossed our fingers that the short sale would go through.
MAY: We took a vacation to St. Thomas and a trip to Madison, Wisconsin for our dear friend Molly's wedding (while Josie spent the weekend in Chicago) and now look back on both as pivotal moments in time. A lot changed in May. It was a real turning point for us and marked the acceptance of the pain of the last several months and the desire to approach the rest of the year with a renewed sense of positivity and purpose. We came to peace with the fact that we would never have another child and shifted our thinking to being a solid family of three. We practiced gratitude for what we had instead of longing for what we thought we still needed to be happy.
JUNE: We closed on our new house and began moving the first week of June. We found this beautiful perfect nest in the front yard in some branches that had been cut down and considered it a good omen. Miraculously and totally by surprise, we found out we were pregnant again at the end of June. We spent the bulk of the month unpacking and trying to get settled in our new home - and nervously waited to see how the pregnancy would unfold.
JULY: The Austins & the Johnsons came to visit for Fourth of July weekend. We cautiously shared the news. July was spent getting to know our new neighborhood, enjoying the first summer with a yard in a long time and planning for the fall. I was very sick again, but found relief from taking medication.
AUGUST: Josie turned THREE! I hit the landmark end of the first trimester, and we announced to the world that we were pregnant! Tia gave birth to baby Jack just days after I found out I had a bloodclot in the placenta that threatened the continuation of the pregnancy. It was very hard news to take, since we had finally made it to twelve weeks and thought we were out of the woods. With rest, the bloodclot resolved itself within a week. She began pre-school at Xavier Montessori on August 27th. She took to it like a fish to water!
SEPTEMBER: My hours at work continued to climb as they had over the summer, with full-time status coming in September - on top of teaching two classes at UC. I began working between 50-70 hours a week. It was very hard on all of us. Things started to officially look up regarding the pregnancy. Tests were coming back normal and we found out we were having a baby GIRL! We closed the door on our first summer in our new home.
OCTOBER: Lou celebrated birthday #34. We traveled to Chicago for Lyla's 2nd birthday and all went to the Elizabeth Mitchell concert - it was a very special family afternoon that none of us will ever forget! She played "Three Little Birds" and we all sang along. I cried at the thought of everything that song means to us, the three babies we've lost and the promise of being pregnant again. Work continued to be very demanding and burning the candle from both ends finally caught up with me in October when I was put on modified bedrest just before Halloween due to an incompetent cervix. Halloween in our new neighborhood was an absolute blast!
NOVEMBER: I scaled back my hours at work and UC got coverage for me for my two classes so I could have a couple of weeks off to recuperate. In the middle of November, the world lost an amazing friend and mother when Lori Morris was tragically killed. It was a devastating reminder and helped us gain some perspective about what really matters most. We hosted our first full-family Thanksgiving, and Lou did the lion's share of the work. I had weekly appointments and ultrasounds and was told at the end of November that I would need to continue on modified bedrest for the remainder of the pregnancy.
DECEMBER: We had our first real snow days in the yard! Carissa stayed with us for two weeks and helped out immensely, then moved back to New York since she graduated. It was a very hard day for all of us. I worked harder on anything that I've ever had to work on (besides my dissertation) to meet a work deadline on an important project for the Governor's office that I had to have done before Josie's winter break from school. I rallied and got it completed, which was a darn good thing considering that I was placed on full bedrest and told I could not return to work after showing signs for preterm labor over the holidays. We spent the winter break having a wonderful Christmas here & in Xenia and trying to wrap our heads around what full bedrest means for the family. We started to put together a plan, ask for help, make some changes and rang in the new year quietly from the couch.
Seeing it all in one place, I can't imagine what I would've felt if someone would've told me the first week of January of 2010 everything that would happen between that moment and the first week of January 2011. It all makes looking ahead to another year seem miraculous, overwhelming & encouraging.
If I had to find two words to describe 2010, they would be "transition" and "acceptance." If I could place an order for 2011, I hope the key words are "gratitude" and "peace."
