Let it be....

"And when the night is cloudy, 
there is still a light, 
that shines on me,

shine until tomorrow,
let it be..."

 Yesterday, on March 9th, 2010 we said goodbye to the tiny baby we never knew.  We said goodbye to the little soul that was going to mean a bigger family for us, a sibling for sweet Josephine, and the "reward" for our year-long battle with infertility.  Yesterday was the hardest day of our lives.  But, today as we woke up with Josie laying in between us, the sun finally shining over Cincinnati, and three little birds singing on our window's ledge, we know that everything is going to be alright.
The last eleven weeks have been filled with unbelievable highs and lows - from sitting in the doctor's office at the end of January and launching a plan for confronting our problems conceiving, to finding out just two days later that I was miraculously already pregnant, to sharing the news with close friends and family around my birthday, to gladly welcoming the unbelievable nausea that meant a viable pregnancy, to seeing our baby's heartbeat not even a week ago, and to losing what was never really ours just yesterday.
There is no doubt that just as grief and loss are a part of life, that everyone handles this experience differently.  For us, we are comforted by facing these realities head-on, accepting the generous help and support that so many have lovingly offered to us, focusing on all that we have to be grateful for, and clinging to the promise of a brighter day ahead.
Thank you to everyone for your kindness, support, love, messages of healing and encouragement, thoughts and prayers.
And - for those of you who ask how our sweet Josephine is handling this - I will share that it is the simple wisdom of a child that can get us through times like these.  When she noticed just moments ago that my "baby belly" was gone, she asked innocently, "Where did your baby go?"  "It is gone," I said.  "Why?" she wondered aloud.  I told her whatever came out next, as we had planned to talk to her about this later tonight and she totally caught me off-guard.  "Sometimes things just happen, and we will never understand why."  "It's okay mommy" she said.  And she's right...