We've been feeling pretty good about the fact that we've gotten through 2 years and 9 months without even the faintest hint of "the terrible twos." We personally think that much of the "conventional wisdom" about parenting is a bunch of hooey, so we made a conscious decision early on not to buy into much of it just because "everyone" believes that's the way things are and things have to be.
For obvious reasons (new house, new babysitter while Carissa's out of town, etc), Josie has really been testing us lately. But a little incident yesterday revealed that it really isn't about "bad" behavior, it's about truly trying to figure out the world and definitely just repeating back to us what we have modeled for her. (After all, should a parent be surprised if an angry child raises his/her voice when an angry parent does exactly the same?)
Anyway, here's what happened...
We had exactly 20 minutes to get to the (recently discovered, awesome, peanut-free) coffee shop and back home in time for the HVAC guy to arrive. (Did I mention it's been about 95 degrees around here & our AC broke?!) 20 minutes should've been more than enough time because it is literally 3 blocks away - and we drove to ensure we'd be gone 10 minutes tops. Long story short, I think Josie definitely sensed we were in a hurry & that just created chaos. I've never seen her move more slowly. (Or maybe I have & I just noticed it because her speed wasn't in line with what I needed.) So, we had our coffee and milk, she enjoyed her very first brownie (peanut-free assured) and we headed back to the car with about 12 minutes to spare. About 11 minutes later, she STILL wouldn't get into her carseat. She had pulled every trick in the book - the limp noodle, the "plank" pose, etc. Clearly, I was getting very frustrated. Even more clearly, Josie realized that. And here's what she said...
"Mommy, you REALLY need to be more patient. I'll get into my carseat when I'm ready to get into my carseat."
Seriously? Yup. And she was right.
Sure, there are times (including this one) when I really did need her to listen and do something right then & there. We were going to be LATE. But, my realization was that it was pretty unreasonable for me to expect her to be in a hurry just because I was. After all, if I had just waited until after the HVAC guy arrived, then we could've had a perfectly-mellow trip to the coffee shop without all the fuss.
And, since kids are little parrots, I feel pretty proud that she calmly reminded me to be more patient because that's a little evidence that this is what we've inadvertently taught her through our own example.
Now, I'm not trying to prop myself here. Because I was *steaming* when this all happened. Rather, this is a reminder to myself that I do need to be more patient. Even when (just this morning) our little lady stripped down completely naked in protest on the stairs because I wanted her to walk down them herself instead of being carried. (Truthfully, I'm still trying to figure out the parenting lesson in that one...)
