In case you were wondering...

* Josie bounced off to school again today.  She was just as eager today as she was Friday.  I hope this is a sign of more great things to come. We're so proud of her. (Will share the pics the school sent us from her first day as soon as I have their permission to post them.)

* All of my test results (bloodwork, ultrascreen, PAP, genetic testing, etc) all came back NORMAL! :)

* I'm 14 weeks pregnant now and that means I'm well out of the first trimester. However, I still have to take phenegren three times a day to keep the nausea and vomiting at bay.  (But trust me; I'm NOT complaining.)

* My dear, sweet, loving friend Carrie Schmitt-Harrison is one of the most amazing people in the entire world! Check out her blog for a sneak-peek at the absolutely amazingly touching painting she did for us after reading our blog post about this pregnancy. 

* There are LOTS of pictures coming soon including the Schneiders in Chicago to welcome Baby Jack into the world, more from Josie's first day, and the Schneider Summer New House Wrap-up.

And she's off...

 Today was the big day! Josie's first day of school!  Since she's going to montessori school, she starts at age 3 and will go to this school until she's 9.  So, this is the proverbial "first day of kindergarten."  And here are the pictures to prove just how ready this little girl was to start her big journey.

Always one to accessorize, she picked out her whole outfit - right down to the necklace and (new favorite) hair clip (thanks Austins!).

She had so much extra time, that I had to take her out in the yard to play while Lou got ready for work. She insisted on keeping her backpack on & carrying around her lunchbox.

 Josie posing by what she named "The Peace Tree" (because it looks like two fingers making a peace sign).  I got a little choked up thinking about all the "milestone photos" that will inevitably be taken under this tree over the years to come...

 The backpack she chose (FYI Parents: these SkipHop Zoo Packs are perfect toddler size - big enough to haul some stuff but not back-busters. And they're less than $20! She's had a monkey one for awhile but they just came out with a ton of cute new ones last week. Check them out on Amazon. For reals.)

And these are some of my "accidental favorites." I was taking some pictures of the house (I know, I know I've been horrible about not doing that sooner) and noticed the big long shadows. I brought Josie over to show her and we stood there and danced & played with our shadows for quite awhile! (Mental note: the 7-8am sunlight in the front yard in amazing. Take more early morning pics asap!)

Overall, we had an awesome morning. She was dressed a good hour and a half before it was time to leave because she insisted on it, even ate breakfast in her backpack, barely even slowed down enough to kiss me before getting in the car with Lou to go to school, barely stopped to kiss him after he told her he was leaving and was all smiles as he left.  She was so happy this morning that I couldn't even be sad about the weight of the moment.

Later, about 10 something - it hit me. My baby - Sweet Baby Josie - was at school. And that's when a million worries started flooding in (Uh oh - I didn't tell her what to do if she has to pee?  Oh no, what if she has to poo - do they expect a freshly-three year old to be able to wipe herself? Will they make sure she washes her hands before lunch?  What if she feels scared/lonely/worried herself?) And that's when I realized just how lonely this big house is all by myself. And that my friends is when "it" hit me...

The highs and lows of the last three years. The true gift of being pregnant right now and knowing I get to do all of this again. The perfect feeling of peace over our whole journey of getting pregnant again because now I know it all did happen for a reason - I got three full years with Josie.  It's like today she took that first little leap from the nest to make some room for the new egg.  And three years goes by too fast. And we all just need to s-l-o-w-d-o-w-n...  And I'm just so grateful for our wonderful life!

I truly couldn't be happier.

And, according to the teacher at Josie's school who just sent us three photos of Josie absolutely beaming while playing Veterinarian and then eating her ham sandwich, she couldn't be happier either.

first day of school...

...and she couldn't have been more excited! lots more pics to come.

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Homecoming

Baby Jack is home. After a great visit to welcome him to the world, the schneiders are on our way back home too.

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cuddle time!

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fairy school in chi-town

new phone means new easy way to update blog straight from phone. woohoo!

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4th Austin!

9 lbs 12 oz. and everyone is doing great!

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Bursting with JOY!

Our Baby, 12 weeks / 2 days

This morning we had our first trimester ultrascreen at Good Sam Hospital (check for genetic abnormalities). It's been scheduled for weeks but took on much greater significance with the discovery of the bloodclot last week. So, what was supposed to be a routine test ended up being an extremely agonizing situation.  I've been taking things very easy over the past several days in hopes that the clot would shrink and today we got the BEST news we could've expected.

The baby was jumping around like crazy! S/he has a strong heartbeat and is measuring right on target at 12 weeks and 2 days.  What's more - there was no sign of the bloodclot at all!!!

There really are not words to describe how we feel right now.  There have been some really tense and heart-breaking moments over the last week and this is more than we could have hoped for.

Thank you so much to everyone for all of the support and well-wishes. Really.  We were able to get through the last several days because we knew how many people we had pulling for us. 

As I said in my last post, this baby is here for all of us.  Thank you for all the love. Trust me, we feel it!

*

In other extremely happy news:

• The case that was going to send Louie to California tonight through Saturday just settled!
•  We had Josie's "Meet the Teacher" night at school last night and we are all three so excited! It was perfect! Her teachers are incredible! The school is beautiful! She completely gelled with her little classmates, and we completely gelled with the parents. Truly, the school feels like an extension of our home, our philosophies, and all that is important to us.  Josie starts school next week!
• We are Chicago-bound early tomorrow morning! My sister is being induced at 7:30am! Baby Jack is coming soon!  Over the last week, I was faced the possibility of giving up another baby. Facing the possibility of missing the birth of Baby Austin was a little more than I could handle. I am just so grateful that Lou's case settled, our baby is safe, Baby Jack waited, and it looks like we are going to make it after all. (Please keep my sister in your thoughts for a safe, healthy, and happy labor and delivery!)

On gratitude & miracles

Our Baby, 11 weeks & 3 days

I've been feeling something lately, even before we found out about the bloodclot on Thursday, and I just have to get it out...

When Lou & I found out we were pregnant, accidentally and miraculously, my first thought was that we did not conceive this baby alone.  I just couldn't help but thinking over these past several weeks that there was more at work here. For the better part of two years now, Lou & I had been trying to have a second child. And as soon as we made our struggle public, as soon as we asked for help, and as soon as we gave up - that's when it happened.  When we lost Camille, there was such an outpouring of support from so many people that we didn't even know cared. We received so many cards, and emails, and messages that we were just overwhelmed with gratitude.

I really couldn't wait to share the news about this baby because ever since that moment I got this positive pregnancy test, I felt like this isn't just our baby.

This baby was conceived out of the wishes, dreams, hopes and prayers of all of you!

This baby is here because so many of you didn't give up hope when Louie and I had.

And because we all worked together to create this little life, I really do believe we can all work together to keep this baby safe.

Please keep those wishes, dreams, hopes and prayers coming. They've created a miracle before and they can do so again!

Turning Three!

 Josie's third birthday definitely produced some great Schneider family memories! She had soooo much fun at her pool party (and was completely oblivious to the crisis the night before when the made us have to switch the location at the last minute).  She tore through her presents like Christmas morning and then had Grandma, DD, Lou & I laughing so hard we were crying when she tried rollerskating for the first time.  And then, the funniest thing was the night before her party as we were lying in bed.  After we read books and turned off the light, we had this conversation:
Josie: "Mommy, how do I actually do it?"
Me: "Do what?"
Josie: "How do I actually turn three? When does it happen?"
Me: "I guess after you blow out your candles on your cake, that's when you're three."
Josie (worried): "Then will I just float away...because I'll be so big?  Will my clothes still fit? Will I need a bigger bed? Will my feet be as big as yours...?"
These questions went on & on. There's just nothing better than getting a glimpse of the world through a child's eyes!
Here are some of our favorite pictures from Josie's third birthday week!


THE POOL PARTY (Hanna Otto Armleder Aquatic Center, Over-the-Rhine)

The birthday girl:

The Schneiders:

The grandparents:

 The supernannies:

The swimsuit:

The fun:

The cake:

The song:

(You'll have to fill in about 20 or so of Josie's friends and their families because I didn't feel comfortable with putting other kids or their parents in swimsuits on the blog without their permission.) Also, let me say that this moment has been my favorite moment of all three of Josie's birthdays so far - standing there, reflecting on the last year, seeing the look of awe on her face, and hearing the sound of so many of her friends and family singing her into her next year. She is such a lucky little girl!

THE PRESENTS:  

The Wonder-capes: (Just another reason to love Etsy.)

 The first pair of skates:

 The inevitable:

 The funniest moment of the whole week:

 The Princess:

The Wonder Pets:

The sweetest smile:

HER "REAL" BIRTHDAY (Wednesday):

The Scooter:

The ErgoBaby:

The silly goose:

The candles:

The big moment:

The wish:

(She wished for a pet donkey! Thank goodness she told us her wish so that it wouldn't come true.)

The beginning of the sugar rush:

The End. :)

 Big, Big, Big thanks to all of our friends and families for making Josie's third birthday SO special. Thanks to everyone who traveled near & far and made last minute changes to their plans to get there.  Thanks for all of the wonderful thoughtful gifts and cards. (We really hope to get thank you cards out soon, but with the whole 'bed rest' thing, I fear it might be awhile.  Thanks for your patience!)

Above all else, thanks to all of you for loving our little girl as much as you do.  She is so fortunate. And we are so grateful.

A reality check we could do without! (8/12/10, 4pm)

Well, the tide has turned a bit. I have a blood clot near the baby's placenta. I started having spotting this morning and our doctor squeezed us in for an ultrasound this afternoon. The baby looks healthy & strong but the next couple of weeks are critical. I've got to just rest, wait, and take it easy. Keep us in your thoughts everyone!!! We'll take all the love, good vibes, prayers, etc that we can get.  I'm 11 weeks and 3 days today.

Here are the specifics:
http://www.justmommies.com/articles/subchorionic-hematoma.shtml

Reflections on 3 (8/12/10, 10am)

Sweet Sweet Josephine is now THREE years old!

Just this morning, she was running around the house  pushing the "Clacky Gators" at warp speed while I was doing laundry.  It was such a familiar sound. Having just celebrated her birthday yesterday, her 1st and 2nd birthdays are at the front of my mind. I feels like just yesterday that she was pushing those gators around the Coffee Emporium at her first birthday party because she couldn't yet walk on her own.  And then, over a year later, there's Lyla at her first birthday party pushing around her "Clacky Gators." And now, our Josie is three. Lyla is nearing two. And there's another Austin and another Schneider on the way.  It's all beautiful. And heartbreaking. And exciting.


Happy Third Birthday Josie! We love you more than words can say!

Spinning plates!

Hi all, I feel a little like one of those old-timey plate-spinners at the moment. I'm completely overwhelmed at work! The class I'm facilitating for UC right now is exhausting! We're in the middle of Josie's birthday week! Lou's traveling a lot for his job! My sister is in early labor! Josie starts school in a couple of weeks! My car lease is getting ready to expire & I have no idea what's next! We have tickets for two Phish shows at the end of the week & I have no idea how we're going to pull them off!  There are still an insane number of projects that need completed around the house!  And, add to all that the fact that I'm trying to keep all the plates going while simultaneously trying not to barf and living under the influence of some pretty strong meds.
It all just feels like a little too much at the moment.
Soooo.... while I'm busy treading water over here (or having a "poor me" moment as my sister would call it), just be a little extra patient with me.
On to happier things - 
* Josie's birthday party was awesome (not without insane amounts of stress since the original location of our party had to change the night before!) but awesome nonetheless. I promise to put those pictures up soon.
* Kelly's Mother Blessing was Sunday and we had so much fun doing her belly cast & henna tummy. I'll post a couple of those here, too.  (As a sidebar: let me just say that one of the first things I got excited about when I found out I was pregnant again was having another Blessingway!)

So, stay tuned...

BIG news! Are you sitting down?

"Are you sitting down?" 

These are the first four words I said to Lou about 5 weeks ago when I called him one morning at work. After he assured me that he was in fact sitting down, that's when I said...

"I just got a positive pregnancy test!"
(Notice: I did NOT say "I'm pregnant" because at that moment, I really wasn't sure that I was.)

And here's how the story unfolds...

[SPOILER ALERT: I'm PREGNANT! 10 WEEKS! Healthy baby! Strong heartbeat! Looking great! And here's the proof.]

But, I've gotten ahead of myself, so here's the whole story. (Instead of re-writing all this, I'm just cutting and  pasting from my journal...)

Yea so – shock of all shocks – we are pregnant again. Absolutely, completely, positively by accident. No charting. No tracking. No timing. Just pregnant. By surprise. By a miracle. 

We’ve been in our new house for only a few weeks. This means I got pregnant within the first two weeks of moving here. “New house; new baby” as our doctor said – oddly scientific phenomenon. Chalk it up to the new house, or fate, or completely giving up on ever having another baby, or divine intervention or whatever else you want to call it – but we are pregnant. And shocked about it.

So the story goes like this. After about a year and a half of charting everything on a very detailed spreadsheet, I gave up. I mourned the loss of little Camille in every way. And I mourned the loss of our vision for ever having another child. And I completely 100% gave up on the idea of every having another child. I honestly (and I think bravely) confronted that reality on an almost-daily basis. And it hurt. Even four months later. It still hurt. 

Then we moved and we refocused. I joked that Josie may never have a sibling but she’d have one helluva playroom instead. We didn’t talk about getting pregnant, and if anything, we talked about not getting pregnant.

Then I had more doctor-ordered blood tests to make sure my hormone levels had returned to zero after the March miscarriage. And in May, they were still right on the border. Just above what was considered "normal." So, more tests and a serious possibility that all of this was being caused by uterine cancer. (Gasp!) Ultrasounds. More blood work. Chest xrays. Everything came back negative. And blood levels were back down. It was deemed a fluke and we all agreed it was probably best to avoid pregnancy for awhile. 

So, (TMI alert) I got my period Memorial Day weekend when we were in Madison for Molly and Dave’s wedding. And thank goodness I had that event to mark the occasion because otherwise I wouldn’t have realized a five weeks later that my period was actually late. What?!

I had been feeling a little sluggish and tired. I checked the calendar and my period was about 9 days overdue. I dug out some old HPTs from a drawer in the closet and it was positive in about 3 seconds. Not gonna lie, “No f*cking way!” was the exact phrase I said aloud to myself in the bathroom. I called Lou. He was already at work like any other normal day.

“Are you sitting down? I just got a positive pregnancy test!”

Honestly, our first thought was that my hormones were still bonkers. So I called our OBGYN. And he called back later to tell me that positive HPT + late period = baby. (duh!) Still in complete shock, we scheduled an appt for 7 weeks (two weeks later) to check the viability of the pregnancy. Those two weeks were brutal! That appointment was July 13th. And our little tiny grain-of-rice-sized baby measured exactly 7w1d and his/her little heart was beating at 130bpm. I can’t tell you the joy that I felt when I heard that heartbeat. There are no words!

Here's the first look we ever had at our teeny, tiny little baby.

And then, the morning sickness started. Crazy morning sickness. Not eating and not drinking, all-day-long sickness. And before I know it, I'm back on phenegren and zofran again. And that's when the panic set in. Do I have another baby with three sets of chromosomes like Camille? Are we headed down the same path again? And then over the last several weeks, we're both sick with worry. And trying with all we have to be excited.

(More from my journal...)

Oh the doubt. It just keeps coming back. No matter how much I try to push it aside and tuck it away, it just floods back in.
Do I feel less nauseous today than I felt yesterday?
Is that a cramp or is my uterus just growing?
Why didn’t I need a nap today when I couldn’t survive without one a few days ago?
When will my belly ever grow?
There are just so many questions and so many doubts. And so much waiting and waiting and waiting. 

There are promising signs, quickly overshadowed by fears of not letting myself be too optimistic. Will it hurt any less if we lose this baby and I spent the weeks leading up to the loss pretending like I knew it was coming all along? Or do I just let myself succumb to the joy of being pregnant again (especially accidentally) and just let my body do whatever it is ultimately going to do?
Too hard of a question for one person to handle. Which is why I’m struggling. Really, really struggling…

We would end up needing to wait a couple more weeks before we'd get a chance to be reassured. That appointment finally came today!


We just returned from the doctor’s office and everything looks GREAT! I feel 20 pounds lighter!
With each step of today’s ultrasound, I let out a HUGE sigh of relief and felt a little more of the stress and anxiety of the last month or so lessen.

"There’s the baby." Exhale.
"See the flicker, That’s the heartbeat." Big Exhale.
"The baby measures right on at 10weeks and 4 days." Even bigger Exhale.
"Let’s listen to that heartbeat. 175 bpm." Breathe, Breathe, Breathe, Let it all go…

The amazingly synchronous thing about today’s appointment is that due to our doctor’s schedule, the only appointment we could get was in the exact same office with the exact same tech that was there when we lost Camille. It was so hard to walk back into that office, but there was something reassuring about seeing her face. It was such a beautiful opportunity to bring Camille into this pregnancy. An acknowledgment of her memory and an acknowledgment of the gravity of this moment. And when the tech explained to us that she had lost 5 babies between her first and second child, it all made sense.

And she let us look at images of our baby for an extended amount of time. And she showed us all the different angles and pointed out every detail. And Lou squeezed my hand and the three of us laughed at our baby dancing around inside of me. And we listened to the heartbeat again and again. And it happened…I finally let myself BE pregnant again. And I truly couldn’t be any happier!

Social Butterfly

We've been so busy over the past couple of weeks that I've barely had time to keep the blog updated. Here are a few photos of some recent events.

The Owls' Nest Park Opening Day Party (this is just two-three blocks from our house and a big factor in choosing this neighborhood):

Best balloon shark ever made by a pirate on stilts:

Spinning in the sunshine to the UC Community Orchestra:

These photos are from the "Big Bug Party" at the Highfield Discovery Children's Garden. (Thanks SOO much to the Schmitt-Harrison family for introducing us to this magical place!)  Josie loves, loves, loves bugs so we couldn't miss this. Before the party started, we had a pizza picnic at Glenwood Gardens. While we were eating, a little girl ran over and sat in "meditation pose" jokingly chanting "ohmmmm...." As soon as Josie finished eating, she ran over to do the same thing. That's my girl!

When asked what she wanted to have painted on her face, she said "a blue beetle." I really don't know where this love for bugs came originated, but I'm glad she's not grossed out by them.

Little girl on a big stump:

A really fun art project we can't wait to try at home (spray bottles filled with watered down paint - so easy and turns out great).  Josie & Lou give it a "thumbs-up"!  (Oh and notice Lou's bee visor.)

Josie,Frog & Toad are friends:

If you're in the Cincy/Dayton area, and you haven't made it to Glenwood Gardens, put it on your to do list! It's in the Wyoming area & easily accessible from 75.