Three Schneiders: Her name was Camille.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Her name was Camille.

Last night, exactly three weeks after we lost our baby, we got the results of the DNA testing from our doctor.

We found out that our baby was a little girl, and we were going to name her Camille. The miscarriage was the result of a "spontaneous chromosomal abnormality" that was "incompatible with human life." In other words, our little Cam, or Cami, or Millie was never going to make it. She had an extra set of chromosomes (69xxx) and her death in-utero was just a matter of time. We feel very blessed that we found out that we lost our baby so early (at 11 weeks) instead of the more typical timeline with this type of chromosome abnormality that can occur late into the 2nd trimester. Losing her was a terrible loss, but losing her at 20 weeks would've been much worse. At this point, we are just happy that we had her as long as we did.

All-in-all, we remain grateful for what we have...optimistic for the future...thankful to everyone for the support...and in awe of the miracle of life.

6 comments:

Catherine said...: :( I'm so sorry, Carri. Thinking of you guys, and of little Camille.; March 31, 2010 at 4:12 PM
Melissa said...: Carri, my prayers are with you and your family. This last month hasn't been easy for either of us but I know better times are ahead for our families. You too are a strong, beautiful woman and we will make it through these tough times. Much love!; March 31, 2010 at 4:33 PM
L. Schum-Holcomb said...: I have an amazing fertility specialist that has given my husband and I two wonderful little miracles. I wish I knew women like you when I was going through these very same things. I know your journey is hard but, in the end, I would have done it again a million times over. Just know that you're not alone. And I applaud you for talking about Camille and sharing your experience.; March 31, 2010 at 5:04 PM
Uncle Bruce and Aunt Sue said...: Camille.....love her name...will forever be near and dear to your hearts. We remain so very sorry for all of you. But what a blessing to have Miss Josie to hold a little tighter. Hugs and kisses....; March 31, 2010 at 10:17 PM
Suzie, Michelle and Makayla said...: Camille-how beautiful! I'm so glad for you that you decided to have the testing done, I know that it gives some peace of mind that it was nothing you did that contributed to your loss. However, I know that it doesn't make the loss any easier. Keep your spirits up, which I know you are, and hold on to that little blessing that is Josephine. You are inspiring, strong woman and I know that you and Louie will be able to share your love with another little child in time. You're always in my thoughts!; April 1, 2010 at 1:31 PM
Anonymous said...: Just reading my precious little granddaughters name Camille, has made DD's eyes leak.Cant hardly see my screen. She will always have a special spot in my heart where i will keep her safe and in my memories. Love DAD; April 2, 2010 at 12:38 PM

Things I've Learned So Far

When on bedrest, cravings are satisfied in bulk. A chai tea latte is not out of reach. It will arrive as a case of six 32-oz cartons courtesy of Amazon prime in two business days.
Fall/Winter maternity clothes are infinitely more expensive, uncomfortable, and ugly than Spring/Summer maternity clothes! (And I miss my flip-flops already!)
BELIEVE in miracles!
If your two-year old tells you that you need to be more patient, she's probably right.
Moving is hard. Moving with a toddler is even harder.
There are no guarantees.
Don't let your two-year old pick out the kind of Valentine's Day cards she wants to make. There's a good chance she's overly-ambitious.
Take nothing for granted.
If you pay close enough attention, your little one will totally show you the right path in most situations. They're wise little souls. We should give them more credit. And we should follow their lead.
If your child is doing some well/good/desirable/etc, people attritbute that to chance. But, if your child is doing something wrong/incorrect/undesirable/etc, that gets chalked-up to your parenting.
There is no sense in trying to make children grow up any faster than they already do.
There is no better compliment than someone whose opinion you value saying that you are good parents - and meaning it.
Parenting is deeply personal.
Use the words "I promise" sparingly. There are very few things you can actually guarantee your child and broken promises really hurt.
As a parent, there are some things you do because you think you're supposed to...And then there are the things you do because you know you have to.
There's nothing quite like a conversation with a two-year old.
The development of language is mind-boggling! And so much fun to watch develop!
Everything happens for a reason. Everything. Even though it's sometimes hard to figure out why.
Traveling with a toddler might be a trip, but it definitely is not a vacation.
"Wean" doesn't have to be a four-letter word.
It is true what the say - the days are long, but the years are short. Happy first birthday Josephine!
The baby's needs always come first. (Case in point: her dinner was a well-balanced, all-organic meal of turkey, cheddar cheese cubes, vegetable hummus & raisins for dessert. Mine was a bowl of Coco Crispies.)
I thought that first smile was a good as it got...until the day she first reached out for me. I knew that was the best feeling in the world...Until she looked at me and said "Mama!" :)
There are two kinds of people in the world - those who wave back to a baby in stroller & those who don't.
Mother's Day & Father's Day are definitely more than "Hallmark Holidays."
The people who designed the Sesame Street characters knew what they were doing!
Babies do not understand time zones!
There is no shame in buying a one-piece bathing suit. ;)
Time spent just sitting and staring at Josephine is time well spent! The fact that we created her and the fact that she is ours still amazes me every single day. We are totally in awe of our beautiful daugther!
Pureed beets and babies don't mix.
One of "those nights" is usually followed by one of "those days."
Blowing bubbles is fun for the whole family.
Seven month olds definitely know how to dance!
Baby monitors are also useful for identifying when you've accidentally locked a cat in the baby's room.
With a little practice, it is possible to update the blog, talk on the phone, eat lunch, and pump breastmilk all at the same time. (Now that's what I call multi-tasking.)
A five month old baby does not know how to "pet" a cat. However, a five month baby is very good at making a cat really angry!
Diaper rash cream has lots of different uses!
There's no doubt in my mind that you would find a nasal aspirator / nose suction bulb in a museum of torture devices.
A cat's meow and a baby's cry sound oddly similar at 4am.
The hospital should keep all the samples of free formula and pass out white noise and Elizabeth Mitchell CDs instead!
The day Josie no longer wants to hold my hand will definitely be a sad day. In the meantime, I'm content to stay in her room a couple extra minutes in the middle of the night with her little hand wrapped tightly around my finger.
The holidays really are more special once you've started your own family.
When all else fails - just breathe & remain grateful! Even the worst days are the best days of our lives.
It's okay to do at least half of the things you swore you would never do as a parent.
Parenting means you must always be up for a change of plans - even if that means giving up dinner at your favorite restaurant for White Castle in the back seat while nursing your baby.
Never take an over-tired baby to the mall in a bassinet!
Those damn baby nail clippers are lethal weapons - I hope Josie won't miss the top half of her pointer finger!
Two sets of sheets are not enough.
It's okay to cry when you put away baby clothes that no longer fit anymore.
Strangers almost always hold the door open for a pregnant woman, but almost never do so for a woman with a stroller.
There is nothing like that first toothless smile!
You haven't lived until you've had to handle a diaper blowout SO BIG that the only way out of it is to cut your baby's clothes off of her to avoid covering her head with poo.
There is absolutely, positively nothing worse in the entire world that seeing your child in pain and not being able to help her.
Never leave home without an extra set of clothes for yourself & at least two extra sets of clothes for the baby.
Baby pee dries quickly and doesn't require a change of clothes (no one will ever know...)
Picking little baby boogers is more fun than it should be.
If Josie is totally relaxed and smiling, she probably just pooped.
Thank goodness the baby doesn't realize I usually don't know what the heck I'm doing.
Lou has missed his calling as a performer of children's songs & should definitely look into recording his smash hit "Mama's Milk".
Nipples stretch like rubberbands.

Three Schneiders

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Her name was Camille.

6 comments:

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